Thank goodness this says “bitches” because if it said “male equivalent of bitches” it’d be way too small. I’d need at least three times that much space to list all the people I’m gonna holla at… We are talking about people we’re going to yell at because they suck, right?

I may not be a pee pro, but I’m pretty well-known on the amateur circuit. Which is what I call the toilet in my master bathroom, in case you were wondering.

Halloween was Wednesday, but minus a prescription for Seasonique, your period haunts you (and all those idiots you know) once a month. So if now is your time — OMG, MINE TOO WE ARE LIKE SO SYNCED UP — make this and celebrate the joys of crying at reruns of Reba.

via Tampon Crafts, an entire blog dedicated to crafting with tampons

Hey party people! Just putting the finishing touches up for the mega-rager I’m going to be throwing tonight. I’ve got my Feminist Kill Joy banner up, the bras are crackling merrily in the fireplace, and the menstrual relief tea is brewing on the stove. Yep, it’s beginning to feel a lot like  Post-Sexism Neo-Socialist Utopia! And don’t you worry about getting bored. I’ve got activities a plenty. First, we’ll be pinning the pubic hair on the vagina(I would have gotten witty with the game name, but using euphemisms for vagina steals our power), then we’ll be pushing real hard until our leg hair grows, and then we’ll be taking back the word “cunt.” Be there or be square whatever shape you want because no one tells you what to do!

The Pinterest/DIY/Mommy Blogger bullshit is killing me. You know what you can do instead of making – or, excuse me, crafting – a shoe tie practice board? You can let your stupid kid practice on SHOES. Where’s my fucking feature in ReadyMade?

Scare the shit out of your potato chips with these Spooky Bat Pegs*. Or do it the old fashioned way — show them your bare thighs.

*It’s a British thang. Here in Texas we call them chip clips. Over in San Fran, they call them nip clips.

This is what it would be like if you could do your furniture shopping on a subreddit. That’s right perverts, I’m gunning for you with joke bullets. That should put an end to your shenanigans.

Ladies, you can either spend $280 on one of these leather boxes, or become a Florida beach nudist and create your own.

There’s a fine line between creative genius and homicidal psychosis, and that line is BFA diploma viewed from the side while it’s laying on a table. There’s also a fine line between blogging and being investigated by the FBI, and that line is a Google search bar that’s constantly populated by the words “Ed Gein human skin lamp.”

I’m not really sure what Pringles is shooting for here, but I’m certain they missed the mark. Unless, they were going for “things that make you vomit instantly.” Because if that’s the case — nailed it.