Friday, October 26, 2012

I Seat London, I Seat France

This is what it would be like if you could do your furniture shopping on a subreddit. That’s right perverts, I’m gunning for you with joke bullets. That should put an end to your shenanigans.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Don’t Forget the Shipping Labias

Ladies, you can either spend $280 on one of these leather boxes, or become a Florida beach nudist and create your own.

Friday, October 19, 2012

The U. of Eye

There’s a fine line between creative genius and homicidal psychosis, and that line is BFA diploma viewed from the side while it’s laying on a table. There’s also a fine line between blogging and being investigated by the FBI, and that line is a Google search bar that’s constantly populated by the words “Ed Gein human skin lamp.”

Monday, October 15, 2012

Stop the Pop

I’m not really sure what Pringles is shooting for here, but I’m certain they missed the mark. Unless, they were going for “things that make you vomit instantly.” Because if that’s the case — nailed it.

 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Wake Up and Smell the Catastrophe

Nothing says ambiance like a nod to crushed, burning corpses. Now if only the manufacturer had the foresight to make these candles scented…

Monday, October 8, 2012

Rub a Dumb Dumb

There are at least a couple of good reasons not to have a hot tub installed at your home. Number one: it’s not the 70s. But if you just can’t resist the urge to soak in a warm vat of diluted urine and spilled wine coolers, not to fear. The Hot Tug is here. (Hold your applause.) Now you can take your show urinary tract infection on the road white-trash lake to remind your neighbors of the urgent need to circle-circle-dot-dot give themselves a douchebag shot. It a public service, really.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Bright Lights, Big Disappointment

Turns out the light’s not at the end of the tunnel… it’s in the corner of your bedroom, right in front of the camera your landlord installed to watch you have sex. Needless to say, he shut off the camera feed long ago and now files your rent checks under “Penis Repeller.”

Monday, October 1, 2012

Ya Burnt

CLEAR! your counter and bring your toast back to toasty with this SHOCKINGLY cool toaster. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go toss it in the tub with some Mr. Bubble since I just double punned in a single post.

via Kitschy Living

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Extra Meat, Pleas

Not only does this roller fork make eating pizza much easier, but it also greatly improves the efficiency of wiener-based cannibalism.

Diddle Me This

When Mittens went off on his tangent about the good-for-nothing 47%, he left out one very important fact: that the other 47% are assholes. What kind of assholes? The kind who would buy a box of mail-order holiday gourds for $68. Sad but true. What about the 6% we left out? They’re busy masturbating. Tragically, they’re our nation’s best and only hope. God speed, diddlers.

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