Get this cupcake blanket/fleece poncho/mu’umu’u to hide your muffin top. But apparently not your shame.
Friday, July 20, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Just the other day I was saying, “You know what? I really wish there were more ways to fall on my face.” And then whaddya know, some asswipe goes and invents Rocking Slippers. Looks like I’m one shipment away from cracked teeth and contusions everywhere!!!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
At my house, you don’t need a bra-shaped sleeping mask to pull off this look. That’s right folks, my bras are 32 AA. Yes, that is a real size. No, I didn’t get them at Baby Gap. *runs off crying*
Edible google-y eyes?!? Fuck you, Jonas Salk and your precious Polio vaccine… This is the greatest invention of all time.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Plywerk takes your photos and mounts them on sustainably harvested wood. Hmmm…your face mounted on wood? Sounds like just another Saturday night. And by “your face” I mean this porcupine. He or she is a total slut.
Monday, July 16, 2012
This book by Amanda Hunt offers “152 ways to seal the deal.” Way number 134? Have a vagina. Number 98? Be Jon Hamm*.
*Sound the stolen joke alarm. I swiped that from SNL.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Here’s a tea towel that mocks all those Best Cuts of Meat placemats. But I think we can all agree those placemats are kind of a waste and the real best cut of meat is whatever you can drag home on a Friday night.
Apparently you can use your washing machine to store cold drinks for parties. Just remember to separate your white drinks from your colored drinks, you goddamned racist.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Yep, you need buy this print. And while we’re on the subject of your needs, a mustache wax wouldn’t kill you either.
via Nancy the Desk Topper Drawer
I just discovered this amazing new way to prank your mom (from etsy seller Pineconeman). Simply hide this in your mom’s tchotchke cabinet and wait for it. Depending on the number of Hummels and unicorn figurines involved and the dusting frequency, the wait might be awhile. But it will be so worth it.