Plywerk takes your photos and mounts them on sustainably harvested wood. Hmmm…your face mounted on wood? Sounds like just another Saturday night. And by “your face” I mean this porcupine. He or she is a total slut.

This book by Amanda Hunt offers “152 ways to seal the deal.” Way number 134? Have a vagina. Number 98? Be Jon Hamm*.

*Sound the stolen joke alarm. I swiped that from SNL.

Here’s a tea towel that mocks all those Best Cuts of Meat placemats. But I think we can all agree those placemats are kind of a waste and the real best cut of meat is whatever you can drag home on a Friday night.

Apparently you can use your washing machine to store cold drinks for parties. Just remember to separate your white drinks from your colored drinks, you goddamned racist.

Yep, you need buy this print. And while we’re on the subject of your needs, a mustache wax wouldn’t kill you either.

via Nancy the Desk Topper Drawer

I just discovered this amazing new way to prank your mom (from etsy seller Pineconeman). Simply hide this in your mom’s tchotchke cabinet and wait for it. Depending on the number of Hummels and unicorn figurines involved and the dusting frequency, the wait might be awhile. But it will be so worth it.

Via Buzzfeed.

Nobody puts baby picture in a corner! Well, okay, maybe it it’s this one.

Weird. In this print it takes a a girl, a dog and a wagon to get the same reaction I  usually get from a rusty Venus Embrace.

I was reading Apartment Therapy (don’t get any ideas, you keep reading BHG until you finish the whole site, young lady / man) when I ran across this photo of a candle app. I was like, “This can’t be an actual thing. Someone is making mischief in the Photoshop.” Wrong. I couldn’t be bothered to click through to read the whole article, so I googled it. It’s real. Owning this app should make you a leper. Like saying “OMG” out loud. You should be declared legally dead and escorted by a mourning procession of your friends and family to an isolated colony where you can live out the rest of your days in a cave reading The Bible by your precious candle app. Unclean!

According to the internet, polydactylism is very rare in celebrities, which I find quite disappointing…

*BEGIN INNER MONOLOGUE*

Fuck, do I go with a disapPOINTing pun or soldier on with my intended, half-baked post idea? On the one hand -

Goddamn it, I did it again! What magical pillow powers does this thing have? Okay, focus and write your first idea, which is decidedly terrible.

*END INNER MONOLOGUE*

According to the internet, polydactylism is very rare in celebrities, which I find quite disappointing. So I vote we cut off Justin Bieber’s weiner and give Regis Philbin a new pinkie.